I can't live when this world just keeps dying

Arghh today had to wake up super duper early to go to Queenstown Sec to be volunteers for this inter-cabin olympics for sec skool kids! But I guess it was quite fun with all these funny kids cuz it makes me think of the time when I was their age...It just doesn't seem that long ago when I was as chiaotic and my life was as fun as theirs. Although I'm offically no longer a teen, I still feel like it's just been a while only since I left sec skool..maybe cuz I still keep in touch with so many of my childhood friends from there...

But there are sometimes when I feel like just going back to that time or pri school... the carefree days where you had about no worries in the world, no responsibilities, no stress... everything was fun and candy sweet or at least to me then.

Todae's one of those daes where I feel like that... CAs had just passed and I know the time to mug for our promo exams has come... Went back to NUS today to collect some notes and all from zonghan and so wasnt expecting so many of my yr ppl to be mugging so soon in lib! And hell there were so many! Sigh! Just when I tot I could just relax abit... but NO... everyone's mugging while I'm happily thinkin I have so much time...

Sometimes I dun get how these ppl can just place mugging as their main focus in life? Heard some of them lurve mugging like it's a hobby to them.. I just dun get it... Dun they have other interests outside school? Perhaps if the Singapore education system wasnt so rigid and fast-tracked, I would have enjoyed studying, taking time to appreciate what I'm learning. But there's no time unless I guess if you have really no other interests besides mugging. Dun get me wrong, I really lurve learning esp what I'm doin now but it's just a completely different thing between learning and cramping loads and loads into your head! And this is so helpful next time, when every doc says I'll only remember 10% of what I'm learning now..like cramping's gonna increase this percentage any higher...
I know complaining will get me nowhere and I might as well start studying right...


#On another note,

I think my knowledge of people is shrinking as I grow older... In the long ago past, it used to be pure innocence, people dislike you telling you str in the face. Then, it was backstabbing, betrayal and whatnot. Now, it's not knowing whats on everyone's minds and whether that sweet smile is really what it's meant to be.. I think the world is just getting colder each minute. But why do people really have to do this? Can't we go back to the era of childlike innocence or was it just pure imagination on my part and this has never existed before? I really dunno.

I'm just afraid that I am slowly evolving to become a person I detest without myself realising. Maybe that's why I'm always looking back to the gd o'days -- my childhood. I know it's time to look forward, to live for God and to prepare for eternal life with Him, but I dunno how. Teach me.